Here is my advice based on my one year experience, if anyone interested.
Context: Android and MacOS devices, former Evernote fan (2009-2023).
Chances are, you only need a little fraction of your 10k notes most of the time. The main trick to fix Android poor performance is to store 95% of your notes in a big "archive" notebook and almost never access it. Accessing your small notebooks will work well. Accessing your big notebook or "All notes" will be extremely slow, avoid it as much as possible.
Next is synchronization. So many choices, let me save you some time.
On mobile, when setting up the initial sync, absolutely change "attachment download behavior" from always to auto.
Use Joplin Cloud with end to end encryption. Don't use Dropbox which is way too slow for many notes.
The initial sync will take several hours per device and you can only do one device at a time. I suggest to start one device everytime you go to bed and let it complete overnight.
Everytime you setup Joplin on a new android device, the full sync will block all your other devices for hours. Thus do it overnight.
To experiment with various datasets and synchronisation strategies, use Joplin profiles, available on both desktop and mobile, this is an awesome feature to experiment things without breaking your main dataset. You can test the total sync time of a different strategy with a copy of your full dataset this way, without commiting to actually doing it.
The only other option to Joplin Cloud is hosting your own Joplin Server. I am currently going this route but this is for advanced users only. It has advantages: faster sync, E2EE no longer needed, initial full sync no longer blocking thus you can full sync all your devices in parallel.
Syncthing is a great tool but unfortunately won't work for 10k notes because Android Joplin app is not able to offer a usable experience accessing a folder with 10k files, I tried very hard to make it work and failed.